Dear Ebola

by moe

Dear Ebola,

We don’t know each other but the word on the street is that you are kind of an asshole. Some say the degree of your assholeness is being gravely exaggerated(within in the US, you are 100% a huge asshole in Africa). Anyway, I think you are making me kind of racist. I took an uber/lyft/whatever car the other day and was terrified to find out that my driver was African. The car was spotless, but I practically held my breath the entire ride. I felt like a hypocrite. Like how I only pray when my flight has a little turbulence. I just got caught up in the moment. I felt horrible later, and, like many first worlders, I immediately blamed it on the media. Speaking of the media, I feel like this is the first time that Africans are being profiled worse than African-Americans in the US. Like Fox News would be more comfortable with Malcolm-X than Mandela right now. In closing, please stop being such an asshole.